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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 10, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 29, 2025
Relationship

Dear Ms Rai, I'm engaged to a guy my parents introduced me through an arranged marriage set up. Initially, everything seemed fine, but over the last few months, I've noticed that my fiance only discusses physical intimacy, which is making me uncomfortable. I have tried to tell him but I don't feel an emotional connection with him. I am hesitant to express this to my family or his. How should I approach this situation?

Ans: What you're experiencing is more common than it seems, and your discomfort is not just valid — it's important. A marriage, especially one that begins through family arrangements, needs far more than surface compatibility or physical interest. You deserve emotional connection, mutual respect, and a safe space to be heard and known deeply — not just desired physically.

The fact that your fiancé focuses primarily on physical intimacy while you’re still seeking emotional grounding raises a significant concern. It’s not about being shy or conservative — it’s about emotional safety and trust, which are foundational. If you're already feeling a disconnect or pressure now, it’s unlikely things will magically fall into place after marriage.

You’re not obligated to silence your discomfort for the sake of avoiding conflict. Start by being honest with yourself: Is this the kind of connection you want for life? If the answer is uncertain, it’s better to pause than to proceed out of pressure.

You don’t have to go straight to your family or his with everything. Start by writing down how you feel and what you’re afraid of. Then, speak to someone you trust — maybe a sibling, cousin, or a therapist — someone who can help you reflect calmly. If you feel strong enough, you can then have a direct and respectful conversation with your fiancé. Ask him what he expects in this relationship beyond the physical, and express clearly that you’re looking for a deeper bond, not just intimacy.

A marriage can be postponed or even reconsidered, but a life spent in silent emotional disconnect can weigh you down. You are not being unreasonable — you’re being honest and self-aware. That’s the best foundation for any life decision.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My husband stopped being intimate with me after the birth of our second son. We have been married for 11 years but all we ever talk about is related to our children, their academics, and future. I have tried to speak to my husband about this but he feels everything is normal. We live in a 2BHK apartment in Pune. My mother-in-law visits us sometimes and she doesn't like me. But I am cordial with her. My husband never discusses his work or personal stuff with me. There is no love or intimacy between us. He takes care of all other needs of the house and my children. Is this normal? Am I worrying too much? Please help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are right when you worry about the way things are between you and your husband. Obviously sexual intimacy is one of the pillars for a strong marriage (and not the only pillar). And you have noticed that this intimacy has stopped after the birth of your second child.
Now, one way of looking at it is that many couples get drained in responsibilities of raising babies and building the family and this means sex can be off the table for a long long time. Is this the same with the two of you as well?
OR
It can also be that many people use sex simply as means to have children (reproduce) and not as an activity to be indulged in other than for bringing children into the world. Is your husband one of those people?
OR
When you say there is no love and intimacy between the two of you, surely this could be another reason as both of you have not bothered to take out time for yourselves where you brought in the element of trust, care, affection, love...this is the basis for other forms of intimacy as well.
Work on this better...try and become each other's friend first...he need not just assume the role of a provider and take it on so seriously that he forgets that there is a wife that needs his care. At the same time, do not insist on sex till you also make an effort to bring him into a space where he sees you as his friend and starts to trust you...

What happens in the bedroom, starts first outside the bedroom with small gestures like laughing, watching movies together, cooking, holding hands...don't jump into sex instantly...wait...be patient...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
i have been married for 9 months but my husband is nver interest in sex. He doe not even hug me properly. It is an arrange marriage but our engagement lasted for 1.5 years and at that we had good physical relationship. we used to make out whenever we could get a chance. But after the day we were married he is never interested. he did not even try to have sex on our first night or at our honeymoon. We do make out once a month but that too only if i initiate. We sleep in the same bed but he has never come to cuddle with me after first week of marriage. He is not making any efforts to make me feel loved, special or beautiful. I have tried a lot of time to talk to him openly but he answers to any questions. He says that he loves me but never puts in any effort to make me feel like i am being loved. And whenever i complain he will try to change for 1 week and then everything is as it is. But 1 thing i have noticed is that he wanted to have sex if i go away to my parents house for 1-2 weeks and comeback. Can you help me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Economics at play here...
When something is easily available, one loses interest in wanting that product but if something is rarely available, it makes us want it even more...

Sorry for this kind of comparison, but your husband fits this bill here. You seem to be easily available now at home and for him all the time, so this does not generate any interest in him. When you were in the courtship phase or when you leave for your parent's home, you aren't around much and that makes him interested. There is no right or wrong about it...it's the way your husband functions. So, make sex a rare thing for him. Don't ask, don't initiate...wait for him to actually want it by not showing that you are interested. In fact, there's no harm even in saying NO so that he also starts to feel that your are not all the time available and that will make him also want to get intimate with you...Makes sense, yeah?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7834 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2025Hindi
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7834 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, My son has secured a seat in CSE at PES University, RR Campus, Bengaluru based on his JEE PES ranking. His JEE Main rank is 39,257, and he has also been allotted AI & DS at IIIT Dharwad and IIIT Kalyani in the first three rounds of counselling. As per last year's CSAB data, he is likely to get CSE, AI & DS, or ECE in IIITs such as Dharwad, Raichur, Kottayam, Nagpur, and Bhubaneswar in the upcoming rounds. We are seeking your guidance on which would be the better option for him. If he opts for an IIIT, which one among these within his expected range would you recommend as the best choice?
Ans: Prashant Sir, PES University’s Ring Road Campus CSE program is NBA- and NAAC-accredited, taught by PhD-qualified faculty, and supported by advanced computing, AI/ML, and networking labs. It recorded an 82.97% placement rate in 2023 with a median package of ?8 LPA and an average of ?8 LPA–?12 LPA, engaging 350+ recruiters including Microsoft, Amazon, Google, Cisco, and Cisco. Among IIITs in your son’s rank range, IIIT Nagpur leads with an 88.5% placement rate, average package ?13.11 LPA, median ?11 LPA, and participation from 200+ recruiters like Adobe and Accenture. IIIT Kalyani follows with an 89.33% placement rate and average package ?10.72 LPA. IIIT Dharwad has a 66%–78% placement rate, average ?10 LPA, and strong industry tie-ups via its Career Guidance Cell. IIIT Kottayam achieved an 83% placement rate in 2024, average ?12.66 LPA with 86 recruiters including Bosch and Infosys. IIIT Bhubaneswar reports a 79% placement rate, CSE average package ?9 LPA and median ?10 LPA across 42 recruiters like Amazon and Capgemini. IIIT Raichur’s emerging 68.8% placement rate with average ?18 LPA and median ?15 LPA positions it as a growing option. All IIITs are Institutes of National Importance, offering robust labs, research centers, student clubs, and industry internships under PPP models.

Final Recommendation: Select IIIT Nagpur CSE for its superior 88.5% placement rate, ?13.11 LPA average package, and diversified recruiter pool. Next, consider IIIT Kalyani CSE & DS for its 89.33% placements and solid PPP backing. Third is IIIT Dharwad CSE, offering a balanced ?10 LPA average, followed by IIIT Kottayam AI & DS for ?12.66 LPA average. Choose PES University CSE only if private-university infrastructure and near-100% placements outweigh the specialized focus of IIITs; IIIT Bhubaneswar CSE and IIIT Raichur CSE serve as reliable backups. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7834 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Career
CSE FROM JIIT NOIDA SEC 62 VS THAPAR PATIALA VS UIET CHANDIGARH VS NMIMS CHANDIGARH VS SYMBOISIS PUNE THESE ARE THE COLLEGES I AM CONSIDERING WHICH ONE SHOULD I CHOOSE.
Ans: Saamarth, Among these five CSE programs, JIIT Noida’s NBA-accredited curriculum features 20+ specialized computing labs, PhD-qualified faculty, and achieved a 94% placement rate over 2022–24 with median package ?8.50 LPA and 112% branch offer rate in 2024. Thapar Patiala (TIET) boasts NAAC A+ accreditation, ACM/IEEE-aligned CSE, strong research labs, and recorded nearly 100% CSE placements in 2024 with an overall UG placement of 83% and 334 recruiters. UIET Panjab University, NAAC A-rated, delivered 86.8% CSE placements in 2024–25 via 100+ recruiters, offering average packages of ?6–8 LPA and solid campus–industry tie-ups. NMIMS Chandigarh’s 2025 cohort has no historical placement data yet, but benefits from NMIMS’s NAAC A+ brand, modern AI/DS labs, 120-seat CSE program, and a robust parent network. Symbiosis Institute of Technology (Pune), NAAC A++-accredited, recorded a 77.8% placement rate in 2024 with average package ?9.32 LPA, top recruiters like Deloitte and Microsoft, and evolving research collaborations.

Final Recommendation:
For highest placement consistency, proven track record, and extensive computing infrastructure, prioritize JIIT Noida CSE. Next, choose Thapar Patiala CSE for near-100% CSE placements and strong industry and research integration. Opt for UIET Chandigarh for solid public-university affiliation and reliable 86.8% placements. Consider Symbiosis Pune for competitive average packages in a NAAC A++ environment. Defer judgment on NMIMS Chandigarh until its first CSE batch placement data matures. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7834 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Career
Sir my daughter is greeting admission in Chitkara university (BTech AI and future tech),NMMIMS Chandigarh (BTech CSE and data science),scalar school of technology, newton school of technology sir please tell which is better
Ans: Divya Madam, Chitkara University’s B.Tech in AI & Future Technologies is NBA-accredited with NAAC A+ status, delivered by PhD-qualified faculty, and features dedicated AI, Blockchain, Cloud, and Cybersecurity labs. Its Solan campus achieved nearly 100% placements over the last three years, engaging 670+ recruiters and offering deep industry internships. NMIMS Chandigarh’s B.Tech CSE & Data Science (120 seats) is UGC-recognized with NAAC A+ accreditation, modern computing and analytics labs, and industry-experienced faculty; being a new campus, final placement data is pending, though it benefits from NMIMS’s strong recruiter network. Scaler School of Technology’s four-year CS & AI program provides 1:1 mentorship by industry experts, immersive project-based learning tied to BITS and IIT degrees, and guarantees 100% placement assistance with top tech firms. Newton School of Technology’s B.Tech in CSE & AI offers specialized data-science labs and paid internships from year two, but as a nascent institute records only 40–60% final placement conversions due to its evolving infrastructure and recruiter base.

Recommendation:
For robust placement consistency, proven infrastructure, and extensive recruiter engagement, choose Chitkara University AI & Future Tech. If brand affiliation and modern analytics labs are priorities and you’re comfortable awaiting initial placement data, consider NMIMS Chandigarh CSE & Data Science. Opt for Scaler School of Technology for guaranteed placement support and industry mentorship, and for early paid internships with a growing recruiter pool, select Newton School of Technology. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7834 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Career
Hello, my son is getting B. Tech. CSE seat in GITAM Hyderabad as well as in Mahindra University, Hyderabad. He is waiting for BITSAT counselling as well where he is expecting to get a new course (3+2 programme) launched by BITS Pilani. This course is integrated course where 3 years for BE programme followed by 2 years of MBA from BITSOM. He is expecting Civil Engg. with MBA based on his BITSAT score. Can you please suggest which would be the right choice among these 3 options?
Ans: GITAM School of Technology Hyderabad’s CSE program (NAAC A+ accredited) is delivered by PhD?qualified faculty across AI, data?science, and cybersecurity labs, engaging 900+ recruiters for internships; over 2,262 of 3,474 participants secured placements (~65%) with a median package of ?4.80 LPA. Mahindra University Hyderabad’s B.Tech CSE (NAAC A grade) features multidisciplinary cloud, AI/ML, and cybersecurity labs, partnerships with global firms for six?month internships, and a ~90.7% placement rate in 2023, engaging 48 recruiters with a median package of ?8.50 LPA. BITS Pilani’s new 5-year 3+2 integrated Civil + MBA (NAAC A++, NBA accredited) combines core civil engineering labs (structures, geotech, materials) with two years of MBA at BITSoM, aiming to produce technology-enabled managers; mature placement data for the dual?degree cohort is unavailable, though Civil Engineering at BITS Pilani sustains ~90% placements over three years, and the MBA arm leverages BITSoM’s corporate network.

Recommendation: Prioritise Mahindra University CSE for its proven ~90% placements, robust specialized labs, and global internships. Next, choose GITAM CSE for strong foundational training and broad recruiter engagement. Opt for BITS Pilani Civil + MBA only if your son seeks an elite integrated leadership pathway in civil and can accept inaugural?batch placement uncertainty. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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