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Kanchan Rai |615 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 10, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Asked by Anonymous - May 28, 2025

My elder brother got married of his own choice past 12 years ago regardless the parents decision and lived by himself, he has two sons aged 10 and 5, after a recent scenario between him and his wife, they both are not into good terms since 8 months which is impacting on the kids and their upbringing. My brother is a field relationship manager in a real estate company and earning his bits, struggling with life and work. He has no financial and family support..as a younger brother I listen to all his struggle and troubles and advice him accordingly. All of these things are draining my mental and physical health . I myself struggling as a lawyer having my mom dad and grandmother with their health issues ..I am not able to make a firm decision on the scenario, should my brother and his wife get seperated? If yes please explain.

Ans: Your brother and his wife have been in conflict for eight months, and the tension is harming the children — that’s the most concerning part. You can offer support, but only they can decide whether this marriage still has life in it or if it’s better for everyone — especially the children — to grow in two calmer homes than one violent or unhappy one.

The only responsible way to move forward is to encourage them to seek professional help — through marriage counselling, family therapy, or at least structured mediation. If after that, they still can't communicate or co-parent peacefully, then separation may be the healthiest path, not just for them, but for the kids and for you.

You, on the other hand, need to draw a boundary. Listening doesn’t mean absorbing. Supporting doesn’t mean sacrificing your own well-being. You’re already managing aging parents, your own legal career, and life’s pressures — this is too much to bear alone. Let your brother know lovingly that you care, but he needs to begin taking decisive steps toward either mending or ending this — and get professional input.

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Anu Krishna |1633 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 12, 2022

Question by JG - Sep 12, 2022Hindi

Dear Anu MadamI have a brother, he is married, 38 years old and his is wife is 34.Since 2 and half years they do not have any physical relationship but they have a 3-year-old child.My brother is also suffering from depression and the cause is failing intimacy between his wife and him. He is not interested in her at all and now applied for divorce. But his wife for the sake of child wants to continue to remain married as child needs both parents for upbringing and refusing to give divorce. We also want to treat his depression for which he is not supportive. This is causing pain in the lives of all family members and his little child.Please suggest what we can do for the wellbeing of all.

Ans: Dear JG,

How can you help someone who possibly doesn’t even realise that he needs help and that he needs it NOW?

Your intent to see him and his family is noble and out of care and concern. But if he is unwilling to recognise (possibly his mental state) that he needs professional help and that it will ease his situation and save his marriage, what is it that you can do?

For the sake of his wife and child, kindly ask an authoritative yet caring elder in the family to drive some sense into him.

Untreated mental condition isn’t a joyful experience for him or those around him.

Also, take him out on long walks in Nature. Nature is known to be very soothing and healing. Maybe it might help calm his nerves and he might seek help.

All the best!

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